User Manual
Don’t Panic.
Read this paper. Then recycle it.
Or make it into a super cool paper airplane that you can give to your nephew.
Safety Notices
(This is the usual yada yada ... just more fun)
This product contains sensitive components. Do not drop, disassemble, open, crush,
bend, bake, deform, puncture, blend (guess we’ll never know if it’ll blend), shred,
incinerate, paint, bring to the moon, or insert foreign objects into the device. Do not
spill liquids, rocks of any size, or food on the device. Do not expose the device to
water, moisture, or rap music.
This product contains small parts, which may present a choking
hazard to small
children, as well as men who have not emotionally matured. Keep the device and
accessories away from small children, regardless of how much they want to bang on
the keyboard.
When you perform repetitive activities such as typing or playing games on the device,
you may experience occasional discomfort in your hands, arms, shoulders, neck, or
other parts of your body. Take frequent breaks and if you have discomfort during or
after use, stop use and see a physician. We’d make joke
s here, but we really want you
to look after yourselves!
This product does not contain any user-serviceable parts. Repairs should only be
made by an authorized technician. Note that authorized technicians do not necessarily
include your neighborhood 15 year old brainiac that you call anytime you get an
antivirus pop-up on your computer (note: you shouldn’t see antivirus pop-ups on this
device anyway!). As cool as laptop ground effects are, unauthorized repairs or
modifications could result in permanent damage to
the equipment, and void [your
warranty and] your authority to operate this device under applicable regulations.
Battery: This device includes a lithium-ion battery, as that whole cold fusion thing
hasn’t been figured out yet. There is a risk of explosion, fire and burns if the battery is
handled improperly. Don’t do anything silly with the battery. Don’t puncture,
incinerate, short the contacts, try to disassemble the battery, or expose the battery to
water or high temperatures (>60 degrees C/140 degrees F).
We already said not to
bake the device, but apparently we needed to repeat ourselves. Replace only with the
specified replacement battery. Recycle or dispose of used batteries according to local
regulations. You could recycle new batteries, but that would just be silly.
Install the battery